A filmi family sports event

My feisty best friend Asha P. calls to ask me to come cheer on the sports team she captains. Shashi offers to walk over with me and Gemma; since we are always proud to be seen with my stylish and handsome brother-in-law, and it is a beautiful afternoon, we happily set forth. Alas, we arrive at the playing field to discover that the opposing “Heroes” team is unfortunately anything but: led by their crazy-eyed coach Amrish Puri, they are cheating like mad.

Shetty says nothing, but his shiny bald head and bulging muscles are intimidating. Ajit on the other hand is quite vocal, shouting lunatic threats of world domination and lobbing firecrackers in all directions. The Heroes have in fact scored one goal already, probably by accident.

Asha’s Bulbuls are giving them an unexpected run for their money though. These fierce ladies—despite being hampered by the requisite Spare Hair and tight clothes—are not about to cave in to the Heroes’ bullying tactics. Faryal (always the exhibitionist, God love her) suggests the girls strip down to their lingerie to distract their opponents, and Shashikala piles on the bling in hopes of blinding them in the bright sun, although it is not clear how the other Bulbuls (and their fans) will avoid being blinded as well.

Poor referee Ratan Gaurang is feeling lots of pressure. Lalita Pawar has strolled by in her “Christian-Lady-Sunday-Best” and is giving Ratan a lengthy lecture on integrity as Gemma barks like a mad thing at a bunch of colorful Bolly-butterflies.

Will her barking, Faryal in her fancy chaddies and Shashikala’s jewelry help the Bulbuls score? Will Referee Ratan learn to stand up for what’s right? Or will Ajit blow up the field before any of this can happen? And most importantly: where shall we all go for drinks afterwards?

And yes, just like last time, I realize that this whole thing makes me seem insane (and you can click on the picture if you want to see it larger—that will imply that you are crazy too, though).

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44 Comments to “A filmi family sports event”

  1. Then bring on the CRAZY! You are freakin’ fabulous and funny!

  2. Ha ha.
    Lovely!!!
    You are a right riot, you are!
    And yes, I clicked on the pic to see the larger pic, so I am crazy too. :-)

    It is superbly done – with all the expressions on the faces exactly what you would expect from the character.

    Gemma looks really cute – God bless her!

    The only thing is Faryal is a bit overdressed, don’t you think? ;-)

  3. What an inspired choice for a Referee ! Ideal to play judge in Hindi movies and set all baddies free under pressure.

    • Poor Ratan. He was totally in the Heroes’ pockets until he discovered that the Bulbul ladies would not give in without a fight! And then Lalita just completely did him in by the end.

  4. Bwahahaha! I’m watching this on Thanksgiving instead of the requisite football!

    • Shashi is jumping up and down with glee at the thought of having your company :)

    • what a great idea @post turkey entertainment. So much better than watching all my “just-this-side-of-tipsy” family members cheer on refrigerator sized fat men in tights. But then the heroes team will also be fat men in tight pants no? Ah but they will have shiny, pointy shoes too. So this entertainment is better than that entertainment!

      • Ajit is running a little to *stout* anyway, but Amrish is not fat, and Shetty is just…solid. And everyone has pointy shoes, even me! Much better entertainment all the way around :)

  5. You’re a hoot AND impeccably dressed to boot. Game on! :-)

  6. Hahaha!
    I’m not interested in sports but would go as a spectator just to oggle at the stars…..soooo, I did click on the image to see the larger size for better oggling. :-D

  7. it is so fun to be crazy with you!
    rooting for the bulbuls!!!!
    and loving every minute of it.
    will shashi jump in?

  8. LOL!! Such fun, I love it… crazy is good, Memsaab! By the way, found this on my computer and thought you might like it: http://twitpic.com/377qmh

  9. Great ! Good on u memsaab. You look so stylish behind a dashing Sashi. BTW, have seen umpire Ratan in quite a few movies but didn’t know his name. Thanks for that. Am cheering for the Bulbuls to win with flags!

    • I do look good with Shashi don’t I? Ha ha :D Well, who wouldn’t really?

      It took me a very long time to figure out Ratan’s name too, he is one of those people who haunted me for a long time.

  10. Bulbuls will win. I know so!

  11. If Ratan wont stand up, yu wanna bet Ms. D’SA aka Lalita ‘power’, will fix all of ‘em in her own style for sure :),
    funky post G, LOL
    Cheers

    • Exactly—she is in full Mrs. D’Souza mode, isn’t she?

      (I have to entertain myself somehow during all the long work calls I get stuck on) ;-)

      • Way to go G, g8 way to entertain yerself after those loooooooooooong boooooring work calls eh :);)…

        @SQcutAtul, how right,Kishoreda said umpteen times …. main pagal nahin hoon, mera dimag kharab hai….

        :)

  12. WHAT THE——! That was my initial reaction and then it was HA HA HEE HEE. I was sorely tempted but I did not click on the picture— Ha HA did not want to be called crazy. But I guess I can still do it, how will you know whether I clicked or not?or do you have some gadget that I am not aware of? HA HA, This was an excellent post I have to admit. I am learning a lot from you Memsaab.

    • LOL! No, I will never know if you click on it or not, so go ahead! Anyway I cannot point fingers, being the person who created it in the first place. I can only imagine what you are learning from me Shilpi but I am glad you enjoyed it :D

  13. There is nothing wrong in being called crazy. I had no hesitation clicking on the picture. So what if duniya calls me crazy.

  14. Instead of fantasising, you could watch the real thing. I saw an old documentary some months ago on Sunrise TV where lots of Indian film stars were participating in a cricket match. Maybe you’ll know which documentary I’m talking about?

  15. Can’t believe you took Shashi to the match – the Bulbuls will be completely distracted and lose! :( Quick, put him in purdah.

  16. Hi Memsaab..I love your blog on known and never heard never seen movies. I have tweeted your page to Shammi Kapoor, Shahrukh Khan, Hrithik, Preity and others to let them know about your great blog.
    Here I recommend you a movie to write your precious review on. Its called Quickgun Murugun. A short video review I found on you tube by someone..you can watch it here at

    I have seen this movie and please do not apply your brain to understand anything going on in the movie otherwise it will be damaged..just have a laugh with a south Indian cowboy playing matrix with his 70′s styled enemies in modern times with mango dolly to spice up the lives of both antagonists Rice plate Reddy and Quickgun Murugun.

  17. LOL! LOL! LOL! I am crazy too, Memsaab!

  18. Hi Memsaab! This is my first comment on this blog, even though I have been reading your outstanding reviews for some time and using them as valuable sources of information and recommendation. Please keep on doing your excellent work of uncovering these cinematic gems!

    While going through your Faryal-tagged posts today, I realized a have a question for you, hence this comment. Have you seen Biradari? While its plot is rather ordinary, the film is significant in that it has Faryal as the heroine. She stars opposite Shashi, with Lalita Pawar playing her mom, which adds up to three participants from your sports event. :)

    • Hi Dmitri—You are right! It’s got so many of our friends and family in it, but alas it is not a very good film :( Thanks for your kind words and I’ll keep looking for all those…um…”gems” out there that I love so much :D

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